As I sit cramped on a mini bus heading for Bangkok, I’m reminded of my least favourite part of traveling, traveling. I haven’t done a ton of “traveling” throughout North America, mostly vacationing, but I’ve taken enough budget airlines, taxi cabs and 16 hour Grey Hound bus rides (from Edmonton/Vancouver) to understand that a certain level of quality is to be expected and (most of the time) delivered. Day one of this trip I decided to throw that all out the window. It’s always best to have the lowest of expectations with these things. As we have migrated from West to Eastern Europe and finally to South East Asia my lowest expectations are more and more frequently not met. However, this is just par for the course, I’m afraid. Most of the time we just pay our (most definitely overpriced) fare and hope to God we make it to our destination. And, with any luck, our back packs will make it, too. Neil and I are pretty good sports about all the nonsense that goes along with budget traveling, but some times it’s just too much. Most of our journeys have included one or more of the following pleasures that will be burned in my memory forever.
Kids/Babies-Anytime you see the group of people preparing to board, the screaming, seat kicking shit monster is seated directly behind us.
Butting-This applies to all age groups. If there is even the smallest amount of room between you and the service counter someone will push you aside to go first.
Music-Why oh why is music always blasted at full volume at all times? Usually accompanied by a TV playing the corresponding video, and almost always it’s karaoke.
Bodily Fluids/Grooming- Nose picking, nail cutting, nose blowing, teeth picking, open mouth coughing, barfing(!), and flea picking. You name it, it happens. It’s always more appreciated in small compact transportation with no escape.
Talking/Yelling-Why people decide to have very loud very lengthy conversations with their neighbor (or their cell phone) will always baffle me.
Smells-Think of the smelliest food item available, then age it to slow rot and bring it on a bus for lunch. Yum!
Bathroom- If the transport in question has a so called “bathroom”, you better REALLY need to go ’cause it usually isn’t worth it. No TP, soap, light, or standing room EVER!
Time Line-Whatever they said X 3
Bitch! Bitch! Complain! Complain! It’s kind of fun thinking of all these ridiculous scenarios, because even at the worst of times I would still rather be holding my pee for hours while collecting baby drool on my lap than showing up for work.
That being said I’ve included our train ride to Istanbul…..
With both overnight trains, Neil and I have opted for a sleeper room. The price is usually quite a bit higher, but it’s so worth it!! Each time we’ve had a private room with a sink, mirror and big window. It makes the trip more of an adventure than a chore. I absolutely love traveling by train, it’s such a novelty. We began in Bucharest, scheduled to go through Bulgaria. We expected to arrive at the Bulgarian/Turkish border around 2:00am. With every border crossing (exclusive of air), there are two stops; one to leave the country and one to enter the next. The whole day goes off without a hitch. Traveling by train is always the easiest. All the passengers are just as excited as you; chatting in the hallway, snapping pictures, enjoying the view. Neil usually has trouble sleeping on trains. I passed out like a light. I think it’s the white noise of the the train along the tracks that does it. As expected, around the 2:00am the conductor screamed for everyone to get up while banging on all the doors. It’s takes about 30 seconds for the border dudes to check our passports, but we sit at the station for 40 minutes waiting for everyone else. Off to the Turkish border.
The conductor started screaming again. Unexpectedly, this time we had to go outside to get our visas. I felt pretty vulnerable standing in jammies, passport in hand, waiting in the cold with a hundred other shivering travelers. This place looked like the end of the world; cold, dark, guys holding machine guns staring at everyone existing the train. Not the place to mess around. There were two lines formed; one to purchase your visa and one to get the visa checked and your passport stamped. As far as we read in our Lonely Planet Guide book, people who are traveling with a passport from anywhere in the EU (which included us) the visa was free when entering from the Bulgarian border. We got to the front of the line, showed our UK passports and……we owed 30 Euros??! What?! Why? We didn’t get an explanation. We only had 20 Euros between the two of us (Yes! We’re stupid). No bank machines. No stores. No nothing. We were going to be left at the Turkish border! I started begging. Seriously. No hesitation. I started asking the other people in the line up for money. What the hell else were we going to do? Freezing cold, stressed. Finally, some French kid heard our desperation and was generous enough to lend us 10 Euros. Yay! We’re not going to be detained at the Turkish border!! We ran at top speed to the visa counter and then to the second window (they were 150 meters apart for each other for some reason). We were the very last kids to get through.
Word to the wise. If you are traveling to Turkey, have enough cash to pay for your visa. I’ve carried more than enough over every border since.
~Josie